Frequently Asked Questions    1/8/06

..It works very well for many people, because it feels safe and easy. But it is not right for everyone. Because of being long distance I don't think it is appropriate for me to take clients who are suicidal or whose central issues are problems such as eating disorders. If you're not sure about working on the phone, take a look at what some other people have said about it.

."Having therapy over the phone was a little awkward at first because I had no frame of reference as to who Charlotte was other than what I had been told by others currently working with her. After we started it was much easier than face to face therapy. I was more relaxed, and felt comfortable because I was in my "space"."-VB

.I didn't like the idea of working over the phone at all. How could I be sure I had the person's full attention? After all, I do at least two things while talking on the phone. Charlotte is very soothing and attentive on the phone. Once I saw her notes of my sessions. It was clear that she paid closer attention than I did. I had no hesitation after that. Now my phone appointment with the Chiropractor is a different story...--AH

."My work with Charlotte was so impactful and effective, the fact that we weren't face to face didn't seem to matter at all. I don't know that working over the phone hindered the process; I just know that our work together changed my life.

One advantage of phone sessions is that I could have a session with Charlotte from the comfort of my own home--on the couch, or curled up on my bed, or even sitting outside on my front porch under the trees. This made me feel very safe and comfortable as I shared. Also, it did make scheduling easier. If I had a session at 4 pm, all I needed to do was dial a number. There was no need to allow for extra time to drive, park, and get settled in as there is when working with a therapist in an office.-"-JG

."It was sort of like confession. (Catholic humor!) Charlotte is a person who can make any situation comfortable and nurturing. Talking to her over the phone made it almost easier to reveal things that might have been embarrassing or uncomfortable to discuss. I felt a great connection even over the phone."--BC

.I was wondering how it would work--to have presumably intimate conversations with someone you can't see. Any concerns I had were quickly put to rest. Charlotte is a skilled listener and acutely aware of what is going on across the wires for the person she is working with.--CK

."I have worked with many therapists, coaches, and facilitators--in person, in groups, individually, and over the phone. My individual work with Charlotte has by far been the most therapeutic and empowering."-KB

."I loved the convenience--no driving, no parking, you can wear your jammies, be comfy. Charlotte has such a presence, even on the phone, that I felt known and understood even when I could not sit in the same room. It offered a freedom from self-consciousness."--JD

."I thought that counseling over the phone might be awkward, but I found myself to be comfortable. I felt as though I was talking to a friend. I didn't even think about talking in person because I shared without a second thought."--NK

."It is completely easy. Easier than driving to an appointment in a building. I have an appointment time with Charlotte, prepare a comfortable and beautiful place in my home, choose the cozy socks and colorful native blanket and down pillows, then dial her number and we start our talking. I have also had appointments where I closed my office door and talked with Charlotte, and some while commuting where I stopped at safe places like a shopping center parking lot and talked with her."-DW

."My experience working over the phone was one of grace and ease. Charlotte is so gentle and intentional at the same time that she creates a very safe and comfortable space in which to work. Even when she had me close my eyes for work it was not a problem at all." -MB

. .For me working over the phone is nothing short of brilliant! I can just spill it all out without having to bow my head in sham. That same (wasted) energy can be put into revealing my truth without the embarrassment of seeing that person who I look to for answers looking back at me.--LA

..It was like a new voice inside my head with a positive message to counter some of my old voices/messages. --RH

I felt safe. I was able to be in my own room, comfortable and relaxed. There was a sense of peace being in a space I created with familiar objects around me. I also was able to open up more since no one was watching me. When my session was complete, I could take all the time I wanted to relax and think. I didn't have to go somewhere or deal with anyone but me.--JP

. .It is my intention to be open, honest, kind but real, funny, and useful. I'd like to have each session make a difference. Take a look at what some other clients have told me. .

.She is caring, nurturing, but damn tough. She isn't going to do the work for you, but she will hold your hand (when you need it) and stay by your side while you go through the process. The first few calls were scary, and the work was hard, but she guided me to a better life.--JP

..Charlotte is gentle, direct and challenges the client on their ‘stories'. The other 4 therapists I had just let me talk, and talk, and talk and rarely offered productive criticism or insight. Charlotte engages the client to see how their thought process or actions are driving them to outcomes they so desperately want to change. Charlotte has also provided additional resources such as books, tapes, or other avenues to seek out help. So many times in my other therapy, I left sessions wondering if I got anything out of it. Every session with Charlotte provided insights, challenges, epiphanies, and stretches. It is an experience like none I have ever had. --VB

..Charlotte is very nurturing, accepting, generous and nonjudgmental. Working with her is like being held in a place of wholeness that she guides you through until you reach that wholeness.--MB

.Charlotte seems to gently and very professionally tap around when I'm feeling bad but I don't know what is wrong. She is able to lead me to myself--to help me find out what I knew in my heart but hadn't been able to put words to. When I repeat behavior that belies what I know, she uses her words like a rheostat on a light switch to softly show mw what I have just forgotten.--DW

..She can assess your need, your issues, your touch points, your values, in a short time and offer insight, quotes, books that meet you right at the right place. I found it intense, exciting, revealing, scary, reassuring, amazing, helpful.--JD

.-.Charlotte is a great listener and clearly .has done much work herself. It shows up in her willingness to relate her own ‘learnings', which helps to establish a level relationship and normal' feelings of life's experiences and issues for the client.--KB

.Working with her has always been something to look forward to. I inevitably hung up the phone, and exclaimed, "Damn she's good!"--LA

. .Charlotte has a fully accepting, spacious style. She works like coaxing honey out of a jar. No matter what little dribble you might intend to start out with soon the weight of the issue oozes out of its own accord under the force of its own weight and viscosity. She makes it totally painless and effortless.--AH

..Charlotte is unique, I believe--she actually is in conversation with you. She isn't on the phone saying "now how did that make you feel?"...she is wise, personally intuitive, up front, direct, and gentle. She is a very skilled counselor and I benefitted enormously from our talks.--CK

..She was persistent and willing to work with me. It was always about what she and I needed to work on that day--where we were at--and getting past the distractions of life and to the heart of it. She had the ability to ‘read between the lines' about what was really going on in my life.--RH

.I have worked with a number of therapists over the years, in variety of different settings. Charlotte is by far and away the most gifted person I have ever worked with and one of the most gifted people I have ever known. I think the greatest thing that she gave me was the tools to take care of myself.--JG

. .My perspective is that most problems are symptoms of a basic inability to love and care for ourselves. That may seem oversimplified, but I'm as interested in helping people learn the tools to create the lives they want, as to focus on the problems that are in the way. In the first session I usually ask a client what will be different if all the problems are resolved so that we can both be clear about the goals of our work.

.I was referred to Charlotte by an abortion clinic. She helped me work through guilt and sadness that I had carried around for years. It was incredible how she understood what i was going through. her experience with abortion helped me feel safe and not at all judged. I was able to realize that I made the best decision i could, to forgive myself for not being perfect, and to love myself as well as loving the baby that I didn't have.--SB

..codependency/addictions; esteem; reparenting myself--KB .My marriage, my parents, my kids, my church. I took copious notes during my sessions and for 2 years afterwards, I was still rereading those notes.--JD

.I think I've always been gay, but I just couldn't accept it, even in this day and age when it seems to be in fashion. I got to the point where I couldn't stand to have any more secrets, but I had no idea what to do. A friend suggested that I call Charlotte. Somehow I found that I could tell her things I had never told anyone before. She helped me accept myself just as I am, and I'm proud to say that I have been able to come out at work and, most importantly, with my family. For the first time in my life I think I have integrity. --LC

.Our work together taught me A LOT about boundaries, especially between my mother and myself. I have true independence from her now in a way that allows us to have a healthy relationship instead of the enmeshment we had while I was growing up. My life was about trying to find ways to secure love from outside myself. Charlotte taught me that I had everything I needed right there in front of me: within myself. --JG

.Taking responsibility for my choices--bad and good. .Knowing I'm good enough, smart enough and gosh darn it, people like me! (ha ha). --BC.

.I have worked through childhood issues that affect my adult life. Charlotte has helped me realize when my inner child was begging for me to learn how to take care of myself and what actions I can take to take care of myself. I look forward to sharing many journeys with Charlotte.--NK

.When my daughter was killed I just wanted to die, too. I was so depressed for a long time. My other children were scared for me so I finally agreed to get help, but I didn't really believe it would do any good, so i just went on the internet. I called Charlotte because I was sure it was just a scam, but it would at least let me tell my family that I was trying. I was amazed that just talking with her the first time made me feel hope. I told her I didn't know if I would call back. She said she understood, and that I would need to heal in my own way on my own timetable, but that she would hold me in her heart! I don't think anyone has ever talked with me like that before. It took me a while, but I did call again, and after that I never felt alone. She helped me see that my grief wasn't something to ‘fix'--but that I still had a lot of choices about how to be. I haven't stopped grieving, but I have also taken back my life. My daughter is always with me in my memories, but we didn't both have to die. --KL

.. The counselor at an abortion clinic didn't think I had truly made up my mind. She gave me charlotte's name and number and said, "Give her a call." At first I was reluctant to call a perfect stranger to talk about something so important and so personal. But I called because I needed to get off the fence and time was running out. it was amazing ow immediately the two of us delved right into the core issues. She knew right away where I was coming from and she knew what the most fundamental questions were for a person in my situation. Charlotte never told me what choice to make or what to believe...she just helped me see that if I tried to run from examining these issues now, they would later come back around in some form or other, and by that time it may be too late to make a choice that I could truly live with. I chose to terminate the pregnancy because I felt love for the child, and I know that I could not give it a good home, nor could I be sure i would be strong enough to give it up for adoption. It was very difficult but I got through it with Charlotte's help. --JG

.Fear of abandonment was a term that I found in my forties. I discovered this while working with Charlotte and learned that it came from being neglected as a child. She taught my literally the mechanics and building blocks--the processes to rework, rewire my brain, and retrain my very cells to become a loved being.--DW

.I can't really remember what the "issue" was that I first contacted Charlotte about, but the discovery of the deep seated issues was very effective. I believe among other things that I realized I was making incredibly destructive personal choices and not really realizing it. I went from a place of unconscious thinking to present, conscious living.--CK

.Self-esteem. It doesn't matter where you come from. You get to choose who you are. Life is a choice. She guided me into adulthood.--JP

.Some of the issues I worked on are blame, adult behavior vs. child-like actions, addiction to alcohol, ways to interpret other people's behavior (it is usually about them not about me)) significance of my parents actions toward me growing up, frozen expectations of myself. I found all these issues to be related and knowing how each one triggers something for e, and what to do about it when that happens are light years ahead of all the therapies I have had in the past. -VB

.I've worked through issues regarding my family of origin, work and career, codependency and relationship, money, and general items that frustrate me. But the most powerful experience I had was her assistance through ending a relationship in the middle of the process of it. Without her we would have been in court and with her all issues were resolved and we remain friends today.--MB

.The biggest one was acknowledging and becoming familiar with and embracing my own child(ren) within. Accepting many new changes in my life--new home, new job, new relationship with my family, new child to be with.--RH

.I have been very fortunate to have gifted teachers with a number of specialties, and I draw upon whatever I think will be most effective for a particular person in a particular session. Pia Mellody, who has had a tremendous influence on my work, taught me the power of helping each client understand how I was seeing things, and what tools I thought would be helpful. so that they would be able to handle whatever challenges life holds. Ultimately I would like each person to be able to access the counselor or wise knowledge within. ***** tell about various things I use.

."When I first met her, I'd say Charlotte was pretty much my lifeline...I was very vulnerable and unsure. Then, as we worked together, she became my guide, and she pointed me in the direction of self-love and discovery, always remaining right by my side as I faced the scary parts of myself. And as I grew, she became my support system, or at least a very important part of it. She encouraged me and affirmed me when I had a breakthrough, and she listened and accepted me no matter where I was on my path. And now, well, Charlotte is my friend. Thanks to her I am capable of that."

..You would contact me at 505-757-2991. I'm in New Mexico, which is Mountain time--an hour later than the West Coast and two hours earlier than the East Coast. Or you could e-mail me at taft@newmexico.com and I'd write you back. We would set up a consultation session that would take about 45 minutes, and cost you $20 (At the start of the consultation you'd give me a credit card number). That first conversation would give us both a chance to see if we would like to work together. There is never any obligation for you to work with me, or for me to work with you if we don't both think it could be helpful. If you leave a message be sure to let me know what time zone you are in so that I won't call you back too early or too late! .

. .Most people call once a week for an hour. Sometimes when they are having a very hard time they want to speak more often, and I have some clients who only call me on an ‘as needed' basis, especially after we have worked together for a while and they have resolved some things. I am usually quite flexible in terms of scheduling and I work mornings, days and evenings any day of the week. It's always interesting to fit the various time zones together!

. .Each person has different needs, different issues, different financial situations, etc. You can work with me for a long time, or just a few sessions. My advice would be not to continue if you don't think it's helping! I may give my opinion on the progress of the work you are doing, but at any point it is your decision whether or not to continue. You are free to stop working with me any time. I think it works best when you let me know your plans. It is part of my job to realize that your choices belong to you and not to take them personally.

. .I'm sorry I do not accept insurance. Most clients pay by giving me a credit card number, or by going through Paypal on the computer which allows them to use either a check or credit card.

.After the initial consultation session, my fee is $85 for a full hour. If you are a client I will respond to e-mails usually at no extra cost unless they involve more than 30 minutes at a time.

. .Our work together is confidential. If I believe you intend to harm yourself or another person, I would ethically be required to contact an appropriate agency.

. Some people need the help of medications. I am not able to prescribe, and since we would not be ‘seeing' each other in person, it would be especially important for you to get medications from a physician you trust, and ideally, one with whom I could communicate freely about your issues. Such communication would only happen if you requested or authorized it.

. Call me at 505-757-2991 or e-mail at taft@newmexico.com and let's set up an initial 45 minute consultation. Feel free to e-mail if you have any other questions.